I know that most of you who will read this know this quote from John Piper well…”God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in him.” I have been thinking a lot about this over the past week and after hearing this same quote since 1999, I finally know exactly what this means in my life. It is mostly because of what Pavel and I have gone through over the past 2 months. I don’t write this to get any sympathy, honestly I don’t really care talking about it too much. But every time this thought crossed my mind, God reminded me of what he has done. Everything that happened had nothing to do with Pavel or me, it had everything to do with Him and Him being glorified and in that I am completely satisfied. So, here the story goes…
For those of you who didn’t know back in May before I went to Peru we had found out that we were pregnant and about 5 1/2 weeks along. We went on the mission trip to the mts. with the BSU and then Pavel left Peru again and I started my Spanish classes. It was going really well and I was really learning even after 5 days, but that is when everything changed. Without going into too many details, I started bleeding one night and a couple of days later went to the doctor in Peru and confirmed that we had lost the baby. At this time Pavel was still in the States, but within 3 or 4 days of all this he decided to come to Peru to be with me and help with the decisions that I was having to make. I went to a different doctor to see the progress and he suggested that I have a D&C so after some prayer, we decided to go ahead and do it. Everything went really well during and after the procedure and I'm pretty much back to the old Leah again.
How was he glorified in this situation, you might ask? First, I have never felt more peace in my life than I have during this time. I can't explain it, and I don't ever want to forget it. Secondly, is that the day I found out that I lost the baby was when my uncle (by marriage) heard about the strength that only God can give and God was glorified. It was when my sister-in-law noticed that we were handling this situation in a completely different way. If for no other reason this happened was for our family to hear and see how God works in believer’s hearts this alone would all be worth it…and it has been.
The truth is, Pavel and I still have a strong desire to be parents whether that is through adoption or having our own. So please don’t be sad for us, but please join us in prayer as we seek God in and through our family and rejoice in the fact that God was and is glorified in and through our lives when we are most satisfied in Him.
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